If there are to be any shortcuts in building the life we want - an understanding of how habits work and how to best harness them to our own ends, is what we need.

And not only what we need, but what we want.

Despite what the fitness and dietary industries would have you believe, you really don’t want the result. 

Don’t believe me?

For the sake of brevity, I’ll summarise the following poorly managed, yet undeniably magical event in your life. You happen upon a lamp. You rub it, and lo and behold, in a puff of smoke a genie appears.

- "I grant you one wish!", says the genie.

- "Only one!", you say. Feeling ripped-off, but pushing your luck.

The genie, arms folded, replies

- "Verily." (translation - for real)

- "Very well then, you probably get this one a lot..." (he does)

- "I wish to have my dream body"

Bad. Move.

Your wish is granted, the genie splits, and before you can say 'wasted opportunity,' you are already on your way back to exactly the body you have now. I give it two weeks, one- month max. 

Your body shape is simply a reflection of your current lifestyle - your level of fitness, the foods you eat, the foods you don’t eat, the sleep you get, how stressed you are. Your life, as it stands right now, is the sum of your habits. 

If you want to change one you must change the other.

We are, in fact, damn good at creating habits. The trouble is they are usually not aligned with what, and who we want to be. But we can create habits that lead us to what we want in our lives, and we can do so in such a way that gives the best chance of having them stick. 

Charles Duhigg, in The Power of Habit, writes that all habits form by the same 3–step process.

 

Cue. And...  action!

A habit is defined by consistency, so the last thing we want to rely on is motivation, which may be around, but might not. Ideally we want to be able to connect our new habit to something we already do - an action trigger.

Think about the things you already do without fail, everyday.

• Wake up

• Shower

• Dress

• Eat

• Brush teeth

- you get the point. But there’s five, and you haven’t even left the house yet. You could also also add other events, opportunities that are more random.

• Boiling the jug

• Commercial breaks

• Receiving a text/phone call

• Stopping at a red light

These are all cues that can act as reminders for new habits, some more appropriate than others -  a red light is not a good time to do pushups.

Stanford Professor, BJ Fogg refers to the selection of this cue point as ‘sequencing’ and that it is this, rather than motivation, that counts.

As you know already, you must start small. You want your new behaviour to present as little disruption to your current routine as possible, and so easy, that you can’t say no. Fogg even suggests that people who want to start flossing begin by flossing just one tooth.

A gold star 

(and a barely perceptible nod of the head, to those discerning music lovers who got the Jane's reference in the title)

Positively reinforcing your habit, the reward needn’t be, nor should it be, elaborate. Remembering to floss on a Tuesday night does not warrant a trip to Thailand. The satisfaction of continuing to do something of benefit is (surely) enough. Even just a verbal pat on the back - "Good job” or “Well done”. It will seem weird but remember we are always telling ourselves one story or another.

Never make food your reward.

Ultimately, the benefit you gain from the habit will be its own reward. If you eat healthily and exercise, you gain energy and enjoy a sense of well-being. Etc. etc. etc.

So now we know how to form these new habits to give ourselves the best chance of success, but there are also some habits that can give us more bang for our buck.

 

  Habit combo deals.

 

Charles Duhigg refers to these as keystone habits and, as the name suggests, they support a number of additional habits without any further effort on our part. They can also act as catalysts to a series of other behaviours, creating a ripple effect. Exercise is a well-documented example, usually leading to better sleep and nutritional decisions.

Be aware that keystones will work in a negative fashion also. The quiet drink that leads to a few more, a kebab at 4 am, followed by a hungover day on the couch eating loads more crap, is a well-worn path.

Keystone habits can vary from person to person, depending on whatever floats your boat. But along with exercise, there is one other that makes an appearance time and again...Meditation.

There have been all sorts of times thrown around claiming the minimum time necessary for establishing a habit - 21 days, 30 days, and the most recent being 60 days.

It is going to be different for all of us and is, no doubt, also dependent on the habit, but I’d suggest 30 days as a minimum not in which to establish the habit necessarily, but in which to make a truly informed decision about whether it’s worth pursuing further.

Did you give up meditation after 2 weeks, or did you waste 10 minutes of your day, every day for 2 weeks, because you didn't stick it out? You'll never know.

Of course, circumstances change, and we are all subject to the vagaries of daily life, but what are you going to do, just scrap all the things you have planned for yourself until you live in a vacuum?

Adapt.

Consistency is paramount, so you know what to do - scale accordingly.

• Can't meditate for 10 mins - do 2

• Can't do a full training session - do a 10-minute circuit.

These compromises actually serve to reinforce your habit. It confirms your intention and proves you are able to stick to the schedule even when circumstances are not ideal.

If you think you can go to Bali for 3 weeks and pick up where you left off, forget it. Dead habit.

There are f*#k-ups, and there's failure

 

Everybody slips up. What separates the successful is their ability to get straight back on course. At the earliest opportunity. Inevitably we will lose track at times and the occasional stumble is no problem, but don't let this lead to catastrophe.

The most common mistake here is the flawed mentality that you 'might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb'. However, any minor slip-up is exactly that - minor. You get sent to the naughty circle. No drama. Don’t let things escalate to the point that a rope gets thrown over the nearest tree.

At least until your new habit is well established, avoid your 'negative keystones' at all costs: the bowl of icecream that turns into a tub,  that one drink that leads to a blinder.

It’s well worth the effort in the long run.

The promised land

 

As reported in PsyBlog, new psychological studies show that once our habits are well established, they then become our new baseline.

When tired and stressed, with our defences down and our self-control waning, the routine is a sanctuary - something we find easier to follow than not. Now, having nursed it thorough infancy, your new habit will look after you.

 

References:

Charles Duhigg - The Power of Habit

http://www.slideshare.net/captology/3-steps-to-new-habits

http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/06/habits-and-the-unexpected-benefits-of-weak-self-control.php

Further reading:

Pretty much anything by James Clear - A brilliant writer and researcher, and this sort of stuff is right in his wheelhouse.

http://www.getsomeheadspace.com/News/headspace-blog/headspace-on-bbc2-horizons-the-truth-about-personality.aspx

Chip and Dan Heath - Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard.